How Brave Do You Feel?

So just how do you start talking to somebody you don’t know? You pluck up the courage to say something to them or ask a question. I can hear some of you gasping in horror ‘What? Talk to a stranger?'

Now, if your mother was anything like mine, you were probably hounded continually that talking to strangers was a bad and dangerous thing. But if that’s the case, then how do you ever go about meeting people, making connections and building relationships?

You hear stories about people who, when they were growing up, moved many times. When this happens, they are always the 'new kid on the block' so they learn very quickly that if you don’t introduce yourself you miss out. You miss out on all the fun; you miss out on conversations and you miss out on relationships.

So they adapt and get good at starting conversations. They often start off with the best way to ask for someone’s name, which is by giving them yours!

'Hi, I’m Rob...'

But if you try this, you’ll soon discover that your conversations can be short! You are given exactly what you ask for - their name.

You have to follow up with another question once you have their name. In all honesty, it doesn’t matter what question you ask – but it does matter that you ask it.

It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing - if you’re willing to start a conversation, then you can make things happen! It can make for a more pleasant day. You may be sat on a train with nothing to do. Why not ask the person opposite a question such as, 'Where are you travelling to today?'

This is a closed question which can lead into an open question. If they respond you can ask them something like, 'Business or pleasure?' From this, you can find out all about what they do, and before you know it, you’ll arrive at your destination.

They say small talk builds big business. All the great conversations are shaped by great questions. You may be trying to sell your product or service at a trade show or attending a networking event. What you want to know is who or what they are currently using in their business, or whether they’re in the market for what you do. But that’s selling, and building relationships only sells one thing – yourself. You need small talk – it oils the wheels of conversation!

You should write out or prepare a few good icebreakers that help kick start a conversation with anyone in pretty much any situation. Here’s a few I use. Some are not even questions but friendly and interesting opening statements that give someone a reason to come back to you. So big smile, nice and friendly and away you go:

Someone walking a dog: ‘Wow, looks like that dog's taking YOU for a walk!’

Someone pushing a pram or walking with toddlers: ‘Goodness, you’ve got your hands full there!’

Someone at a networking event or in a bar: ‘Hi, do you mind if I join you?’

Someone at a sports event: ‘So who are you supporting today?’

Someone in a car park: ‘So you finally found a space too?’

Someone on a train: ‘Is it always this crowded?’

Someone in a shop: ‘Have you ever been tempted to do all this stuff online?’

Someone passing by your booth at a trade show: ‘You look like you’ve come to this show with your running shoes on!'

 

Rob's Quick Tips