In professional relationship marketing, the fundamental word is relationships. It's difficult to get anywhere in life without going through other people at every level. The problem is that God made everyone different, and nobody thinks like you, looks like you, walks and talks like you and behaves like you. Of course, you might argue that is a virtue! The result of this diversity is that everyone has different wants and needs.

"It is not from nature, but from education and habits, that our wants are chiefly derived."
Henry Fielding

When you want to build business relationships, win new deals, sales and accounts, and create more opportunities to sell what you do, you have to decide what it is people really want rather than what they need.

People rarely buy what they need. If they do, it's rarely with any emotion, and it's now well known that buying decisions are made more on emotion than logic. If logic plays any part, it is used to justify buying decisions later on. So what's the difference?

Needs - Basic (necessary) to your survival. If they are not met, then your health, safety and/or well-being may suffer. You tend to have very few, but what needs you do have tend to form the biggest part of your financial and effort expenditure (shelter, clothing, heat and light, food and drink, physical and emotional care). Your needs will be met before your wants in most cases.

Wants - Make your life more comfortable and enjoyable. They give you a lifestyle, and are pretty much endless. You need clothes. But you also want clothes that look good. You need clients. But you want good clients! There is a big gap between basic needs and limitless wants.

"Our necessities never equal our wants."
Benjamin Franklin

By telling people they need your product or service, you're missing the point. Nobody needs a loan, an insurance plan or a coaching programme. If you sell it to them, it will be because they want it.

Two philosophers are talking. One says to the other, 'You know, I really need a woman.' The other replied, 'No, you don't. You want a woman. You need a cold shower!'

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