Why Being Negative Can Be Great for Business
Harriet Rubin writes books on power. She talks gushingly about Sam Christensen, who is the ‘go-to guy’ on power in Hollywood!
'Christensen is a maven,' she says. 'A maven is a connector. A mover and shaker. A top networker. He teaches celebrities and business people how to look the part of the leading man or leading lady. In the past dozen or so years, he has worked with 17 officers of Fortune 500 companies, 28 CEOs (including one who needed an image recovery after a criminal conviction), 8 Academy Award nominees (3 actual winners), Olympic gold medallists, TV anchors, Astronauts, one Nobel-prize winner, a few royal Saudis, and, says Christensen, 10,000 other very individual individuals.'‘At this moment, there isn't any one model of power to copy,’ Christensen says. ‘The leading man of today can look as vulnerable as Woody Allen or as swaggering as Russell Crowe. The only symbol that gives one power is certain key words and lines.’
The words that he has in mind are self-directed and self-inflicted negatives.
‘The most charismatic thing about people now is public self-disclosure,’ says Christensen. ‘It's people who say, "I'm willing to take the risk of being entirely myself in front of you." Tom Hanks is a perfect example. On the scale of masculine charisma or articulateness, he's not high. Yet he is so determined, this ordinary guy, that we all identify with him. Great actors have only a slight gap between how they feel inside and what they show on the outside.’
What he’s saying is that power and influence can come out with vulnerability as well as authority.
It’s strange to consider that self-criticisms make a stronger statement of power than a job title, a hierarchy or a big stick. Why does it work? Christensen has the answer:
‘When you say something self-critical about yourself, others think that it's easier to be with you because you know yourself.' This goes against the grain with many modern day leaders who carry a strong line in power, authority and ‘being right and perfect’.
I’ve often spoken about the power of ‘statement question’ in my presentations. This is simply where you say something to provide a context for a following question that by itself might have had people wondering what your agenda was. It works by opening yourself up before you open others up, sounding interrogative and inducing resistance.
If you want to consider a more ‘human’ way to be influential, try exhibiting some negative traits! The top four, according to Christensen, are as follows:
- Getting Annoyed. Christensen calls it bitchiness! You don’t have to be nice to everyone all the time. There are times to get tough and lash out. It’s human. Trying to stay in control is almost like an android. The message you should be giving out is 'You're going to want me on your side.' People love hearing this. Why? Because people appreciate being forewarned.
- Admitting Overload. Christensen calls this ditziness! With so many balls to juggle, it’s often hard to cover everything. You will make mistakes with clients, with deadlines and with promises. You will forget to do what you promised. You will get distracted. Try admitting up front that you’re human, with the add-on; 'I’ve got lots going on at the moment, and I may forget things, but I'm always on your side.' Or ‘I’m all over the place, but trust me, I will get this done for you.’
- Showing Ambition. Overbearing, power hungry people can sometimes alienate people, especially in the UK. It’s not always endearing to lay out your push for power and status openly. But pretty much everyone wants to better their lot, so why not be honest about it? The way to do this is to hint that where you’re going, you can take people with you. You can mentor them, coach them, and, as Christensen says, 'Have a lot of room under your wings'. The message is that you could be a helpful guide. Another way to put it in tough situations is, 'I may be a bulldozer, but I can back up too.'
- Being Dumb. Even if you know stuff, admitting that you might not is sometimes a warming trait. Christensen talks about ‘know-it-all-ness.’ He says: ‘Some people have a need to be smart. These are people who have to learn to talk about their need to be on top of things. If you're in a meeting and you want to get others to see that you understand something that they don't, say something like, 'Maybe this just dawned on me, when you've been sitting in the daylight all this time, but . . .' You look smart without looking like you're proud of the fact.’
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