Networking and selling do not normally mix well. Some people treat networking like a sales convention, thrusting business cards into the hands of unsuspecting prospects. That's like cold calling but face to face. They expect a response without a relationship. This puts people off networking. It gives networking a bad name.

Everyone I know has been on the receiving end of networkers who are sellers. Consider this:

• We've all been sold to with a bad script.
• We've all been pitched to by a bad networker.
• We've all been hit with an unwelcome cold call from someone we don't know, selling us something we don't want.

The problem is, you do need to sell when you're networking. We all need to sell.

Selling is everyone's business. Don't believe me? All day and every day...

• You're selling your ideas, your arguments and your excuses.
• You're selling your products, your services and your solutions.
• You're selling yourself, your company and your industry.
• Your selling your time, your effort and your expertise.

You're not the only one selling you. If you want (and get referrals and recommendations, then others are selling you too.

• Your customers and clients are selling you.
• Your network and your colleagues are selling you.
• Your advocates and your fans are selling you.

So what's the deal with networking and selling? I remember an old quote that said networking and selling are like oil and water. They both belong in your financial engine, but you must put them in separate containers.

So let's look at networking in a different way. Yes, you're selling yourself. But when it comes to securing the business, making the sale and closing the deal, that comes later. In the networking situation, you're selling two things.

First, when you're in the room and talking to me at a networking event, you're selling me an interesting conversation with a competent and even brilliant expert.

You're asking me to part with a few minutes of my time in exchange for a few minutes of yours.

This is a 'value for value exchange'.

You're simply selling me a few minutes of your time. But you're selling!

You know you've made this sale because I'm still there.

Next, as the conversation progresses, you move onto a different sale. If...

• I like you
• I'm enjoying talking to you
• I am interested in you
• I could use what you do
• You could possibly help me
• I want to know more.
  

Then you're in a position to sell me a cup of tea or coffee and some one-to-one time. In other words, a follow up meeting.

You know you've made this sale when you've got my business card and permission to explore a few ideas.

You're simply selling me a quiet drink and a more intimate conversation or phone call.

If and only if you can do that can you put yourself in a position to pitch, sell or close. Got it?

So take the pressure off your networking. Think about securing a coffee with a decent prospect rather than a sale with a locked-down prospect.

Do that and you'll start enjoying your networking. And I'll start enjoying your networking.

You know what thought, you'll still be selling. Why? Because all networking is sales.