I may not know you personally, but I know this about you...

    * You don't ask for referrals as much as you should.

    * You're equal to, if not better than your competitors in talent, skills and desire to succeed (because you're on this incredible website!

If you want more referrals, you've got to be more referrable. People are not going to blindly put their faith in you and everything you stand for by introducing you to their nearest and dearest to do business with UNLESS you are a safer bet. In other words, more referrable than you are. To do that you have to do five things:

   1. You’ve got to do something different or better than you’re doing now.

   2. You’ve got to do something different to or better than your competitors.

   3. You’ve got to show benefit to the other two stakeholders (your source and the referred person).

   4. You’ve got to leverage your worthy service and added value by asking.

   5. You’ve got to have a plan and execute it.

If you want to be more referrable, you must change your traditional definition of BD (Business Development) to something a little more in keeping with your desire for more high quality referral business: BD = Better and Different!

I was recently reminded of some eternal wisdom coined by marketing guru, Jay Abraham. He states that there are only three ways to grow a business:

1. Increase the number of your customers or clients.

2. Increase their average transaction value.

3. Increase the frequency of their repurchases.

To grow your business, simply find a way to maximize each one. Moreover, if you can nudge all three a little higher, your growth will be exponential!

To increase the number of your customers, you just need to open up your routes to market. That means meeting more people, networking more productively and effectively, increasing your connections and leveraging your existing relationships for referrals, recommendations and introductions.

To increase their average transaction value, all you need a greater share of their wallet. This is the domain of cross-selling and up-selling, and you do that by going deeper with your relationships. When you find out where people are hurting, what's causing their pain and what's giving them problems.

To increase the frequency of their purchases, simply keep in contact with them. Find reasons to connect, to stay in touch and to give them reasons to keep coming back.

Business is simple but not easy. You have to do things better and different to your competition. So what are you going to do to grow your business today?

If you ask anyone in business for one word they would use to sum out how they wanted to be seen, then a 'winner' would be high on the list. It encompasses everything. It covers values such as effort and integrity. It espouses traits such as persistence and dedication. It evokes feelings of success and enhanced reputation. So what exactly makes a winner?

As inhabitants of the world of business, we can learn much from our friends in the world of sport. Here are five things you can do to be MORE of a winner:

   1. Work on your skills. Business philosopher Jim Rohn says 'don't pray for less problems; pray for more skills'. If you want to be a winner, you've got to 'up your game' and work on your skills.

   2. Focus on what you can control. You can't control the weather, the crowd or even the referee. But you can change your attitude, your thinking and your actions. So put your energy into doing that.

   3. Move on from mistakes. Understand what went wrong, learn as quickly as possible what you need to put right, then move on! What's gone is gone.

   4. Look after yourself. High performance requires high energy. That means get enough rest so you maximise alertness and endurance. That means you eat well - good fuel in means good energy out. That means drink plenty of water.

   5. Take time for you. Whether you do your garden, go for walks, play video games, play gold, go to the gym, jog, read fiction or listen to music, it's vital you relax into stuff away from the matter in hand.

I'm doing just what I'm telling you. It's simple but it's not easy. I'm working on my skills, focusing on the main things I can control, getting things wrong but learning, looking after myself and taking time for me (I've just spent a few weeks reading all the Harry Potter books!)

Winners don't win by accident. If you want to win more business, become the expert in your field or build stronger relationships, you do it on purpose!

If what you do is optional, or what you do has competitors, people can choose NOT to use you! Now read that again. Let’s say you’re in banking. When people need to save money, they can put it under the floorboards or under the mattress. Whey want to borrow money, they can go to the FFF Brigade – friends, family and fools – to lend it to them! A bank is optional. Alternatively, they could take their pick from one of 50 UK banks and a host of international ones. A bank has competitors.

Buyers have choices. In an ever more expanding world, people have ever more varied choices. What strong brands, persuasive sales people and compelling propositions do is narrow those choices. They blind buyers to the competition and encourage them to buy from you. How do you do that? One of the most important ways is to pay a healthy disregard to your competitors.

"When we stopped looking at what our competition were doing and started looking at what our customers were doing, that's when we became number one."

Terence Leahy, CEO of Tesco, one of the largest supermarket chains in the world

If you pay too much attention to your competitors, you are in danger of looking, thinking and acting like them. That's why 90% of banks, accounting and legal firms do exactly the same. You have three choices with competitors:

   1. Devote more than 1% of your TME (time, money and effort) monitoring them and allowing them to dictate your strategy.

   2. Ignore them completely.

   3. Something in-between.

Now I'm not advocating the first two. Why? Because you need to have some idea. You can get great ideas from your competitors on both what to do and what not to do. But keep it healthy! Save room for innovation. Sail your own ship. Plough your own furrow. Do your own thing.

When you do, you'll find that you give people a good reason to choose you instead of all of their other choices, including doing nothing!

If men networked more like women they would listen better, build stronger relationships more quickly, get to know people more personally, keep in touch better and build more trust.

If women networked more like men, they would find networking more productive, more lucrative, more effective and more accessible. They would be taken more seriously, develop more credibility and generate more business opportunities.

It pays to know these differences, as they help you play the game and appreciate the opposition. I can see you people watching at your next networking event!